Do you have a Happy Place? A corner in your mind you can turn to when you feel stressed and overwhelmed, a place that will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it’s a spot in the real world that you like to think of, a beach or a forest, maybe it’s a person, maybe a memory.

We’re not going there today.

Instead, I would like invite you to a little mental exercise. Make sure you’re sitting comfortably. Take a few deep breaths and let the air flow through your lungs until you feel calm and relaxed.

Now think about moment in your life where you weren’t in control of the situation and you were painfully aware of it. Maybe you failed to perform a seemingly easy task. Or you were supposed to answer a question in front of people but you blanked. Or you said something embarrassing.

Save this memory and give it a name: your Crappy Place.

Visit your Crappy Place often

From now on you can mentally visit this place when someone else is having a hard time with something that is easy or obvious to you. Go there when you’re starting to feel impatient, and before you open your mouth.

This person is you in your Crappy Place. Recall the situation and ask yourself: What did I need back then to feel better and less humiliated? Not people who roll their eyes at you. But patience, understanding and empathy. Give them what you would have needed then.

Just like your Happy Place, keep your Crappy Place at arms length. Visit regularly. Every time someone is struggling – you were that person once. You will be that person again.